If I Live to be an Old Woman

The other day John Prescott started a twitter hashtag, #Cameronpoems, and I thought about adding something based on Jenny Joseph‘s famous poem; ‘Warning‘, the one that begins ‘When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple’. (You can read it here). It was running through my head all day so when I finally got a minute I sat down and cannibalised it – this is the result:


Warning (with apologies to Jenny Joseph)

If I live to be an old woman, I shall wear newspaper
Under rags, which don’t fit, and don’t keep me warm
And I shall have no pension to spend on brandy or gloves
And I’ll say, I could afford margarine once
I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m homeless
And gobble up out of date produce from food banks
And rummage with my stick alongside empty shopping centres
And remember the comparative luxury of my youth
I shall be out in no shoes in toxic rain
and get ill and remember NHS hospitals
And spit
When I hear the name Cameron

Or that of those other OE’s who wore expensive shirts
And grew more fat
On Country Suppers
While we made our bread and cheese last all week
And hoarded BOGOFs 

I’ll say once I had clothes that kept me dry
I paid my rent and didn’t swear in the street
And tried to be a good example for the children
I had friends and dinners and read newspapers
Until Osborne wrecked the economy

Maybe I ought to prepare a little now?
So it’s not too much of a shock and surprise
If I live to be an old woman, and have to wear newspaper.


About tricialo

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1 Response to If I Live to be an Old Woman

  1. Pingback: Weekly Photo Challenge: Purple | Inspired Vision

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